


Constellation Conflicts

by emotionalsupporthufflepuff



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Comedy, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Star Wars References, Terrible but funny but terrible.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:33:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21799156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalsupporthufflepuff/pseuds/emotionalsupporthufflepuff
Summary: A god awful AU one-shot written for a dear friend to make her laugh for Christmas.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 5
Kudos: 71





	Constellation Conflicts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaybohls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaybohls/gifts).



> Merry Christmas :D  
> This doesn't even have a quarter of the Star Wars references I wanted to cram in there but the whole thing wanted to grow legs and run off into the sunset on me. I did the best I could I really did. It's lacking on the Reylo, heavy on the original OTP. 
> 
> K, you are an amazing friend and I've been blessed to meet you this year. Thank you for introducing me to Reylo and only enhancing my Star Wars experiences

He really should have just had hired a personal assistant to get his coffee runs. This standing in line shit was for peasants and the annoying curly-haired girl behind the counter always got his order wrong anyway, but he really didn’t have the time to squabble over whether it was soy or skim because he wasn’t certain she couldn’t taste the difference anyway.

He could and the next time she gave him soy he was going to complain.  _ Loudly.  _

But he could see his office from  _ Vinewood Coffee  _ and the place was eternally crowded honestly serving the best cup of coffee in the area. So here he would wait.

The queue shuffled forward and it was just an elderly lady in front of him. She got to the counter and craned her neck up to the giant multi-screen display. Slowly she reached in a tiny beaded bag on her arm and pulled out glasses so thick if they caught the sunlight just right they’d surely set the place on fire. Looking to the curly-haired barista, back up to the menu and to the barista she finally clicked her tongue.

“ I don’t know. What do you like dear?”

Draco folded his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes pointedly. The barista glared at him dangerously and beamed back down at the lady. “ I can explain the difference between all of our drinks if you have a moment. “ 

“ Oh come on!” he blurted out, letting his arms fall to his sides and looking around to the other people in line, who apparently weren’t a hurry either.

Well, this is just  _ fucking peachy.  _

With another dramatic sigh,  _ just to get his point across _ , he resigned himself to shitty breakroom coffee and left the shop to his office across the street. 

_ The next day. _

He was back in the perpetually long line. It was a matter of pride at this point, he wasn’t about to not go because of one rude employee. She shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it.

She rolled her eyes at him before he could even open his mouth but schooled her face into a fake-looking grin and chirped at him in a saccharine voice.

“ Good morning Sir! What can I get you?”

“ Latte, double shot -”

She blinked. “ I said good morning!” and the smile was back.

“ Right. Latte, double-”

“ Good. Morning. “

“ Fucking...Good morning! Hello, how are you? How’s your mother? Good, great. I want-“

“ I’m well thank you for asking! How can I help you this morning? “ 

“ I would like a Latte, double shot, extra hot, one pump of vanilla, one pump only, last time I ordered this it tasted like a stripper who just started her shift. And a blueberry muffin to go.”

She blinked again.

“Please,” he added grinding his teeth together and his left eyelid twitching.

“I’d be happy to get that for you, sir. Can I get a name for your order?” she popped the cap off of a black sharpie hooked on her apron and held it up to the empty cup. 

“Draco.”

She lowered the sharpie. “ You’re fucking kidding. That’s not your real name.”

“It is. I have to get work can we please hurry this pleasant exchange along?” his eyelid was twitching nonstop now. 

“ Why don’t you go by your middle name?”

“ Because it’s my father’s name.” 

“ And that is…”

“Lucius.”

“Oh no, that is worse. God your family sounds like a nightmare.” she passed the cup off to someone behind her. “ Easy on the vanilla, Luke. Princess here has delicate taste buds from licking too many strippers. “ 

Draco’s mouth fell open at her sheer nerve. No one had ever had the nerve to talk to  _ him _ like that. What in the actual fuck was she playing at? 

“ Sir, step to the side, please. “ 

Draco slid along the counter just far enough to let the next person in his spot. He glared at her, spluttering half responses while she ignored him. 

Hannah the barista handed him his coffee and muffin in a brown paper bag. With that Draco was out of time to come up with a response. 

_ The next day.  _

Draco paced outside the glass door of  _ Vinewood Coffee _ **_._ ** He really was not in the mood for another public humiliation from Hannah, whose hair he could see even from this vantage point. But, on the other hand, he really didn’t want her to think she had been successful in driving him out of the shop. 

No, he had just as much right to be there as anyone else and he was not about to be bullied out of the best coffee convenient to him because of _ her. _

For once the line was mercifully short and only featured regular patrons. As he joined the regular shuffled, a diabolic idea came to his mind.

“Morning princess. How can I help you today? “ she squeaked at him, eyes alight and ready for a fight. 

“ Good morning Hannah. Just a Vanilla frap, whole, extra whip. Please.” He flashed her the grin that sent most girls into peels of giggles, but Hannah just twisted her mouth and narrowed her eyes in suspicion, even while scribbling “ Your worship “ on his cup. 

“ I find your lack of faith disturbing. I’m just here to get my caffeine like a respectable citizen.” 

Walking backward she stared at him until she had to turn around to start the drink order. 

A large glass jar next to the tip jar held “ Homemade biscotti’s “ leaning neatly against each other in a pretty display. 

Silently he lifted the lid, held up like he was inspecting as to what flavor it was and waited for Hannah to turn around. When she did he took a long lick of the cookie with the flat of his tongue and dropped it back into the jar, all without breaking eye contact with her.

“ Excuse you. You’re going to buy that.” she pointed to the biscotti. “ Take it out of the jar.”

“ No, I don’t think I will. “ He repeated the same thing on a one, dropping it the jar.

“ Stop that! You’re ruining all the other biscotti for everyone else. I’m going to tack on the whole jar of those to your order! “ 

Draco shrugged, not losing her eye contact. “ I’m sorry. I have a problem with licking things. Baked goods, doorknobs,  _ strippers. “  _ He picked up a fresh one “ You should have heard the rumors about me in college.” He took a bite of this one and let it fall back in. His hand hovered over the lip of the jar. “ My drink isn’t going to make itself .” 

_ “  _ Dropping the cup on the counter she lurched back to the cash register grabbing the lid of the glass jar and slammed it back down over his hand. Draco stumbled back in surprise, crying out mostly in shock ( but some pain). The customers behind him jumped back as one too. 

“  “Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking - _.  _ He shook his hand out from the pain.

_ “  _ Whose scruffy-looking?!” 

An unfamiliar man materialized behind the cash register. _ General manager _ was engraved on a shiny gold nametag above his shirt pocket. Hannah looked at him in horror before slowly turning to Draco. 

“ I’m so sorry sir. Your drinks and biscotti will be compensated today. Luke will finish your order and ring you up. “ She followed the manager into the back with her head hung low. Some kid no older than 16 ran over to him and started chattering away apologies as Draco pulled out his wallet, watching her disappear behind the door.

  
  


_ The next day.  _

He was fully ready to gloat over his coffee order when he strutted into  _ Vinewood _ the next morning. Surely she would be ready to go with a new form of torture this morning. 

But the one look at her dejected face knocked all the wind from his sails. Even her huge hair seemed to hang limply around her face. Her name tag was different. 

_ Hermione _ . There was a familiar-looking gold sticker on the end of the tag but he wasn’t close enough to see it clearly. 

She sniffed when it was his turn but greeted him simply with a “ Good Morning. How can I help you?”

He opened his mouth to say something, to rile her up, make her react or something. But the way she stared sadly just over his head made him change his mind.

“ Just a large caramel macchiato, please. “

“ Of course. Is that all? “

“ Yup.”

She punched some numbers and scribbled “ Draco “ onto his cup. 

“ You remembered my name,” he mumbled. 

“ Hard name to forget, especially after getting screamed at for assaulting a customer.” she plopped the cup down behind her and filled it with coffee. 

“ Your name isn’t Hannah. “ he pointed out. 

“ No. It’s not. But I get tired of people asking me about it or saying it wrong. So I made another one and my manager noticed yesterday...so…” She shrugged and sighed. In the movement, he recognized the gold sticker on her name tag.

“ I know that droid! Do you like  _ Constellation Conflicts _ ? “ 

Hermione finally smiled again, this time with no malice or sarcasm behind it, he realized how pretty her lips and eyes were. And her hair wasn’t all that terrible. “ I love  _ Constellation Conflicts.  _ I have since I was little.”

“ What do you think of the new movies?” he asked tilting his chin up in a challenge.

She pointed the stirrer at him. “ Don’t get me started. I love the new movies and I’ll fight anyone who complains. I’ve had to take myself off Tweets! “

He smiled for real at her and to his surprise, a pink tinge colored her cheeks. Catching his bottom lip in between his teeth while she was turned around, he screwed up his courage to ask her something nagging at the front of his mind.

“ Do you want to get coffee and talk C.C? “

She raised her eyebrows holding her arms out her side.

“ I meant when you’re off work. We can meet here if you like.” 

Hermione wiped her hands off on apron slowly before answering. “ I’d like that.”

  
  


***

The awkward silence was almost enough to make him think this was a bad idea, though to be perfectly honest now that she wasn’t glaring at him it was much easier to see to fucking gorgeous she was and he would be perfectly content to watch her tentatively sip her coffee and people watch.

But that would be weird, don’t be  _ fucking weird, Draco.  _

His phone pinged and desperate for a reason to look away, he swiped it open. Someone had tagged him on Tweets! Debate on a thread about the newest  _ Constellation Conflicts  _ movie. He tilted the screen to Hermione’s view to show her what was happening.

Her face formed an insulted scowl. “ That’s exactly why I had to take it off my phone. I could spend hours getting sucked into internet fights with people like that. If that was me I know exactly how I’d respond to that …” She sucked in her breath through her teeth. 

Draco handed her the phone.” Go on ...let’s see.” He was happy for the excuse to lean closer into her to watch as she was typing. 

“ One response. Don’t let me do this all night because I will. “ Then with a fire in her eyes, she started typing a novel-like response. 

_ 4 hours later _

“ There. Here’s your phone back by the way. I think we finally got through to them. Oh… Here’s your dead phone back…” she grimaced and slid it on the table back to him. 

He chuckled and stuffed in his back pants pocket. “ Thanks. We should get going, it’s closing and I’m sure you have to be up early.”

“ Actually, tomorrow, I don’t. But they are closing so we should go-”

“Back to my place?”  _ way to be fucking weird, Draco.  _ “I mean I have to charge my phone and all. “ 

She smiled coyly up at him. “ I’d like that. “

  
  


_ Epilogue.  _

He pulled at the gold silk binding his arms to the center of the headboard, as Hermione’s lips blazed a trail from his earlobe and down his chest in there quest southward. But instead of going as far south as he wanted them too, she sat up tall from her position straddled over his hips. Her tits were barely contained in a gold bikini top and her hips only covered by a gold chain and to stretches of purple silk. 

He’d never been so hard in his goddamn life. 

She rocked her hips along where his erection pushed painfully into his zipper and he pushed back, desperate for relief and being so close to it. 

_ “ Hermione.” _ Ugh begging. It was so beneath him. But she was playing with the button on his pants and all he could think about was burying himself deep inside her. He was going to regret this in the morning but not as much as he would regret it if he fucked it up right about now. 

“ You know what I want to hear.” She purred , reaching behind her and unhooking the top. It sailed onto the floor effortlessly.

“ Fucking... _ Please.”  _ His eyelid started to twitch again but he grinned anyway. 


End file.
